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Hey! Got any White Out?



My wacko friend, Scott Ramminger, has been going through a rather deep period of soul searching, trying to figure out what's really important in life. Do we really need all of these fancy gadgets, like laptops, smart phones and iPads? Isn't there more to life than all this glitz? He even bought a house with no heat, but he's working on that.

When some people ask those searching questions, though, they don't really do anything about it. Not Scott. He's a doer. So the other day he went on eBay and bought a portable typewriter. Now, he's texting friends and promoting his band by using that clunky Olympia. He has to type out his message, then scan it, then post it!

But Scott is not one to just buy a typewriter, type a few things, and be done. He always has to go a step further. Here's his latest posting on Facebook:

"I’m tempted to take my “new” eBay 1968 portable manual typewriter, in it’s stylish leather case, to one of those Starbucks where people camp out with their laptops and cold brew coffee.

"I’d just get a coffee and set up like nothing was unusual. Start banging away. This beast is solid, but loud. And as a bonus, it has a bell that dings to cue you for the carriage return.

"I’d litter my area with crumpled paper that I ripped dramatically from the machine while muttering under my breath. And I’d ask the hipster dude sitting next to me if he had any White Out I could borrow. Eventually, I would begin complaining loudly about not being able to get an internet connection and leave abruptly.

"I take the fact that I have decided not to do this as a sign of new maturity. On the other hand, the fact that I have thought it through so thoroughly and have taken the time to post this points the other way..."

Let me just say a couple of things. First, for those who don't know what White Out is, it comes in a little bottle and has a tiny brush. You brush the white liquid over the mistakes that you made typing on the paper, and then when it dries you type over that to make the correction.

Second, Scott, all manual typewriters had a bell that rang when it was time to hit the carriage return lever at each line of type. Just had to point that out.

And third, if you decide to take it into Starbucks and do what you suggest, I'd recommend one of the real uppity places in Washington, DC, maybe Georgetown. And if you do, please let me know because it would be worth the eight hour drive up to DC to see the reaction of those oh so hip Starbucks customers who sit there for hours with their smart phones or tablets doing who knows what and drinking their fancy coffee drinks.

Oh, and then I could have a Grande Mocha Frappuccino Light (no whip) while I'm watching all of this unfold.

#ScottRamminger #Starbucks #Typewriter

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Not Fake News . Bob Gatty . 2719 Scarecrow Way, Myrtle Beach, SC . 301-908-1918. www.notfakenews.biz